Waiting

I'm so frustrated. It feels like I've been waiting for years. I do the normal waiting - at the doctor's office, in a restaurant, in many lines, but this waiting is different. It feels different; it's inner; it's hard to describe. Sometimes I just want to scream, but know that somehow that won't help.

I'm really just waiting on God. I'm very much a do-er when it comes to God and I like it. I think I'm pretty good at it too. I like to do things and have something to show for it. But right now, I really am not doing anything. Maybe it's more like I'm not doing anything "church" related.

I'm involved in a church plant and you'd think there'd be lots of stuff to do, but I've got nothing. At my previous church, I created the sermon powerpoints, did (and still do) the bulletin, ran the Nursery, organized social and outreach events, and helped hubby with the music (he was Music team leader). I shouldn't say I do nothing at the new church, I am an extra adult body in the Sunday School (no planning or preperation just need to show up and sit with the kids). Mind you I really enjoy the kids, but I am never in the church service.

I guess my biggest thing is that I feel like I'm just waiting to see where God wants me. Maybe it's because I don't know - I'm a person who likes to know things. I wonder if this is how David felt when King Saul was chasing him. David had the promise that he would be King, but had to wait before it came to pass.

I need to learn how to just be. Wait and see.

Needed to get this little rant off my chest. Thanks for listening.

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waiting, Church